A few months back, CBS further solidified its position as "Your Grandparents' Favorite Network" by replacing the incredibly old Dan Rather with the incredibly oldER Bob Schieffer as interim anchor for the CBS Evening News while the country waits with baited breath for the arrival of the interminably cute (and perky) Katie Couric in September.
By the way... have you ever noticed that the only time Katie Couric isn't grinning from ear-to-ear is when she's trying to make celebrities cry during interviews? She'll probably want to reign that in before she delivers her first report about the latest war in the middle east. Anyway... back to Bob Schieffer and his oldness.
I was watching the CBS Evening News last night and that's a little out of the ordinary for me. I normally watch the NBC news at 6:30 because... you don't care, do you? Long story short, it was a pretty interesting news day and since I missed the NBC news at 6:30, I was stuck watching Bob Schieffer decompose bit by bit at 7:00.
Their final segment covered the news that astronomers have clarified the definition of the word "planet" to officially put an end to the debate over whether or not Pluto should count as one. I had a little chuckle when the reporter used the funny pronunciation of Uranus (you know the one) but the best part came at the very end of the segment when they showed a clip of an interview with the man who first found Pluto (76 years ago). The man was very old, very overweight and very very British... and here's the best part: He was wearing a monacle. It was perfect... he was exactly what I would expect from a 100 year old astronomer. Apparently Bob Schieffer thought he was great too because when CBS cut back to him at the news desk so he could wrap up the show, he was in hysterics.
Through his uncontrollable laughter, he posed this question to the viewers: "When was the last time you saw anbody wearing a monacle?"
My answer: "Why don't you tell us Bob? You're the one who remembers what it was like when Teddy Roosevelt was President."
Ba-ZING!
I'll probably be watching the CBS evening news more often. He really showed me something last night. You never would have seen Dan Rather pull that kind of Crap on the air... he was one of those "there's nothing funny about the news" guys.
17 August 2006
08 August 2006
Today's "not so" news: (In link form)
- I don't know whether to be more depressed about the fact that I now have officially ZERO chance with Paris Hilton, or the fact that she makes $500,000 per public appearance.
- The Bengals are already pulling away from the Steelers this year in one respect: They now have 5 players who have been arrested this offseason.
- Now people who suffer from air-sickness have a bed that they would be well advised to stay away from. Fuuuutuuuurrrrr-istic!
- This African Minister is adding creedence to the cliche "What goes around comes around."
06 August 2006
It's Bone Pickin' Time!
Ok, this is a bit of a rambler, but it's a cautionary tale, so I urge you to read it in its entirety...
About two months ago, I had the honor and distinct privilege of participating as a groomsman in the wedding of one of my best, good friends. As is customary with weddings, the Bride and Groom gave a gift to each member of the wedding party as a token of appreciation, friendship, etc… For each groomsman, the Groom purchased a gift certificate for tickets to home games of their favorite baseball team. For the bridesmaids… well, I can’t remember what they got because I was entirely too excited about the baseball tickets coming my way.
I was truly impressed by the thought that went into this gift: For one thing, there were 4 groomsmen and we all have a different favorite team. There was a Yankees fan (of course), a Phillies fan (watch out for batteries), an Orioles fan (I try to talk him out of it), and myself – a Pirates fan (at least we have a great stadium). For another thing, everyone got essentially the same thing, but each gift was fundamentally different (I know, I’m probably breaking a few logic rules with that sentence). That way, no one can claim that the groom was playing favorites in any way with the gifts (you know how caddy groomsmen can be). Also, the gift offered flexibility. It’s not like he got us something engraved like when Joey bought the friendship bracelets for Chandler and himself on “Friends” and Chandler hated it, but felt obligated to wear it when he was around Joey. He didn’t buy us an object… he bought us an event – an opportunity to enjoy something and create memories… sorry for the sappiness, but I was excited.
Almost immediately, I began to think about when I would be able to make it to Pittsburgh for a game. I decided I wanted to invite the groom to make the trip with me; not because I felt obligated since he bought the gift, but because I always talk about the Pirates (and Pittsburgh sports in general) around him and wanted to give him a chance to witness, first hand, what it’s like to see a game in PNC Park. Plus, he’s moving to New York this fall, and I almost feel like an era is coming to an end… sort of… so to speak… again, sorry for the sappiness. We cross-checked our calendars with the Pirates’ schedule and decided we'll go up the weekend of August 26/27. The Astros will be in town and, who knows, maybe we’ll get to see Roger Clemens pitch one final time before he retires (if you haven’t ever seen Roger Clemens pitch in person… let’s just say you need to find your way to an NL city sometime soon… he’s worth it). All that needed to be done was to arrange for the tickets… a place to stay that weekend would work itself out.
Now for the part where I go ape-nuts over something that seems to me to be completely retarded…
The Pirates’ box office works through Tickets.com: sort of like Ticketmaster, only smaller and (as you will come to understand) much much much MUCH less convenient. The gift certificate itself contains the following language:
“SUBJECT TO TICKET AVAILABILITY
REDEEM BY MAIL OR BOX OFFICE ONLY
NOT VALID FOR POSTSEASON PLAY”
Apart from the obvious question – why do they tease us (Pirates fans) with even the mention of postseason play? – I was a little concerned that redeeming this gift certificate wouldn’t be as simple as going online to reserve tickets and entering a code. Alas, my concerns were validated because I went online and… no dice… there is no option to redeem a gift certificate. I thought, 'okay, fine, well, I’ll just call the box office and do it over the phone.' Even back in the 20th century you could reserve tickets over the phone. Apparently you can’t in the 21st century… at least not with a code on a gift certificate. You see, they have to actually have the gift certificate in their hands to redeem it for tickets and they told me I need to come into the box office.
“You mean the stadium?” I ask.
“That’s right,” was the woman’s response.
So I says to the lady on the phone, I says “I live in Baltimore… getting to the box office at PNC park is more than just a quick stop after work.”
“Ohhhhhh,” she says, as if the thought never occurred to anybody that one of these gift certificates might be given to someone who doesn’t live in Pittsburgh. She said I could mail it in with a letter requesting tickets. The obvious problem with this is that it doesn’t come with a guarantee that the tickets I request will be available by the time my letter gets there (if it gets there at all) so I flat out rejected that possibility.
“Let me see if there is somewhere you can take the gift certificate around Baltimore,” she says. A few seconds later, she comes back and tells me I can take my gift certificate to a Bradford Bank location... apparently Bradford Bank (a small local bank, formerly a savings & loan… I looked it up) isn’t just a bank, it’s also a retail outlet for Tickets.com. It’s like a superhero with a secret identity and now, it had the chance to save me from my current conundrum… pickle… whatever this is.
“Ok, I’ll give that a try,” was my response.
Saturday was my only option because, of course, I have my own job during weekly bankers’ hours, so I figured I’d give it a shot this weekend. Wouldn’t you know it, the first (and closest) branch to which I went had recently seen their Tickets.com machine hit the fritz, so they suggested I try the branch a couple miles up the road. Sure, no big deal, I had gas in my car ($3.19 / gallon gas) and a good CD in the stereo.
I got to the other branch and went to the counter. The lady took one look at the gift certificate and grimaced like I was asking her to prove the math theorem from the beginning of “Good Will Hunting.” It was mystery… A gift certificate!... FOR TICKETS!... What to do?!!! She was going to have to call this one in. Never a good sign.
So she gets on the horn and the sentence I overhear that stands out in my mind the most is “He has to take it to the stadium in Pittsburgh?” To which, I muttered “un-flippin’ believable:” a reaction that caused the other lady behind the counter to chuckle a little. I guess it would be sort of funny to an outside observer, but to me, it was sort of… no, not sort of… INSANELY annoying. I had met a new incarnation of the Soup Nazi… meet the Ticket Nazi: Tickets.com is a company that so desperately wants to keep people from attaining tickets to the events under their control that they will go to great lengths to alienate the people who most want to attend the event.
I guess I could blame the Pirates. I could chalk it up to another fantastic business decision made by the current ownership group: the decision to partner with Tickets.com for all their ticket issuing needs. Heck, maybe it’s not Tickets.com that made the decision to make the gift certificates redeemable at the stadium box-office only. Maybe that was the Pirates too. I’m pretty sure this that all insanity is a collaborative effort between the two entities. The difference is that Tickets.com, as the outsourced ticket agent, is responsible for anticipating this type of thing and coming up with reasonable and logical contingencies. They have failed in that respect and I feel the need to sound off on them for it.
We’re still going to Pittsburgh that weekend. We got a pair of cheap tickets to the Saturday night game already and were planning to use the gift certificate for better seats to the Sunday afternoon game. Now I just have to figure out how to get those tickets. Because it would be idiotic to expect that the seats I want on Sunday, August 27 will still be available when I get to Pittsburgh on Saturday, August 26, I have to figure out a way to get the gift certificate to the stadium box office. Do I inconvenience one of my relatives in Pittsburgh by mailing the gift certificate to them and asking them to go to the stadium box office for me? Or do I risk losing the gift certificate by mailing it directly to the box office?
See? It’s a pickle I tell you… and it’s added a big flaw to a seemingly perfect gift. Not the Groom’s fault though… I went online to see if they warn you before you buy a gift certificate… they don’t. I guess I should be used to poor customer service... I am a Comcast customer.
About two months ago, I had the honor and distinct privilege of participating as a groomsman in the wedding of one of my best, good friends. As is customary with weddings, the Bride and Groom gave a gift to each member of the wedding party as a token of appreciation, friendship, etc… For each groomsman, the Groom purchased a gift certificate for tickets to home games of their favorite baseball team. For the bridesmaids… well, I can’t remember what they got because I was entirely too excited about the baseball tickets coming my way.
I was truly impressed by the thought that went into this gift: For one thing, there were 4 groomsmen and we all have a different favorite team. There was a Yankees fan (of course), a Phillies fan (watch out for batteries), an Orioles fan (I try to talk him out of it), and myself – a Pirates fan (at least we have a great stadium). For another thing, everyone got essentially the same thing, but each gift was fundamentally different (I know, I’m probably breaking a few logic rules with that sentence). That way, no one can claim that the groom was playing favorites in any way with the gifts (you know how caddy groomsmen can be). Also, the gift offered flexibility. It’s not like he got us something engraved like when Joey bought the friendship bracelets for Chandler and himself on “Friends” and Chandler hated it, but felt obligated to wear it when he was around Joey. He didn’t buy us an object… he bought us an event – an opportunity to enjoy something and create memories… sorry for the sappiness, but I was excited.
Almost immediately, I began to think about when I would be able to make it to Pittsburgh for a game. I decided I wanted to invite the groom to make the trip with me; not because I felt obligated since he bought the gift, but because I always talk about the Pirates (and Pittsburgh sports in general) around him and wanted to give him a chance to witness, first hand, what it’s like to see a game in PNC Park. Plus, he’s moving to New York this fall, and I almost feel like an era is coming to an end… sort of… so to speak… again, sorry for the sappiness. We cross-checked our calendars with the Pirates’ schedule and decided we'll go up the weekend of August 26/27. The Astros will be in town and, who knows, maybe we’ll get to see Roger Clemens pitch one final time before he retires (if you haven’t ever seen Roger Clemens pitch in person… let’s just say you need to find your way to an NL city sometime soon… he’s worth it). All that needed to be done was to arrange for the tickets… a place to stay that weekend would work itself out.
Now for the part where I go ape-nuts over something that seems to me to be completely retarded…
The Pirates’ box office works through Tickets.com: sort of like Ticketmaster, only smaller and (as you will come to understand) much much much MUCH less convenient. The gift certificate itself contains the following language:
“SUBJECT TO TICKET AVAILABILITY
REDEEM BY MAIL OR BOX OFFICE ONLY
NOT VALID FOR POSTSEASON PLAY”
Apart from the obvious question – why do they tease us (Pirates fans) with even the mention of postseason play? – I was a little concerned that redeeming this gift certificate wouldn’t be as simple as going online to reserve tickets and entering a code. Alas, my concerns were validated because I went online and… no dice… there is no option to redeem a gift certificate. I thought, 'okay, fine, well, I’ll just call the box office and do it over the phone.' Even back in the 20th century you could reserve tickets over the phone. Apparently you can’t in the 21st century… at least not with a code on a gift certificate. You see, they have to actually have the gift certificate in their hands to redeem it for tickets and they told me I need to come into the box office.
“You mean the stadium?” I ask.
“That’s right,” was the woman’s response.
So I says to the lady on the phone, I says “I live in Baltimore… getting to the box office at PNC park is more than just a quick stop after work.”
“Ohhhhhh,” she says, as if the thought never occurred to anybody that one of these gift certificates might be given to someone who doesn’t live in Pittsburgh. She said I could mail it in with a letter requesting tickets. The obvious problem with this is that it doesn’t come with a guarantee that the tickets I request will be available by the time my letter gets there (if it gets there at all) so I flat out rejected that possibility.
“Let me see if there is somewhere you can take the gift certificate around Baltimore,” she says. A few seconds later, she comes back and tells me I can take my gift certificate to a Bradford Bank location... apparently Bradford Bank (a small local bank, formerly a savings & loan… I looked it up) isn’t just a bank, it’s also a retail outlet for Tickets.com. It’s like a superhero with a secret identity and now, it had the chance to save me from my current conundrum… pickle… whatever this is.
“Ok, I’ll give that a try,” was my response.
Saturday was my only option because, of course, I have my own job during weekly bankers’ hours, so I figured I’d give it a shot this weekend. Wouldn’t you know it, the first (and closest) branch to which I went had recently seen their Tickets.com machine hit the fritz, so they suggested I try the branch a couple miles up the road. Sure, no big deal, I had gas in my car ($3.19 / gallon gas) and a good CD in the stereo.
I got to the other branch and went to the counter. The lady took one look at the gift certificate and grimaced like I was asking her to prove the math theorem from the beginning of “Good Will Hunting.” It was mystery… A gift certificate!... FOR TICKETS!... What to do?!!! She was going to have to call this one in. Never a good sign.
So she gets on the horn and the sentence I overhear that stands out in my mind the most is “He has to take it to the stadium in Pittsburgh?” To which, I muttered “un-flippin’ believable:” a reaction that caused the other lady behind the counter to chuckle a little. I guess it would be sort of funny to an outside observer, but to me, it was sort of… no, not sort of… INSANELY annoying. I had met a new incarnation of the Soup Nazi… meet the Ticket Nazi: Tickets.com is a company that so desperately wants to keep people from attaining tickets to the events under their control that they will go to great lengths to alienate the people who most want to attend the event.
I guess I could blame the Pirates. I could chalk it up to another fantastic business decision made by the current ownership group: the decision to partner with Tickets.com for all their ticket issuing needs. Heck, maybe it’s not Tickets.com that made the decision to make the gift certificates redeemable at the stadium box-office only. Maybe that was the Pirates too. I’m pretty sure this that all insanity is a collaborative effort between the two entities. The difference is that Tickets.com, as the outsourced ticket agent, is responsible for anticipating this type of thing and coming up with reasonable and logical contingencies. They have failed in that respect and I feel the need to sound off on them for it.
We’re still going to Pittsburgh that weekend. We got a pair of cheap tickets to the Saturday night game already and were planning to use the gift certificate for better seats to the Sunday afternoon game. Now I just have to figure out how to get those tickets. Because it would be idiotic to expect that the seats I want on Sunday, August 27 will still be available when I get to Pittsburgh on Saturday, August 26, I have to figure out a way to get the gift certificate to the stadium box office. Do I inconvenience one of my relatives in Pittsburgh by mailing the gift certificate to them and asking them to go to the stadium box office for me? Or do I risk losing the gift certificate by mailing it directly to the box office?
See? It’s a pickle I tell you… and it’s added a big flaw to a seemingly perfect gift. Not the Groom’s fault though… I went online to see if they warn you before you buy a gift certificate… they don’t. I guess I should be used to poor customer service... I am a Comcast customer.
28 July 2006
Forced choice?!! May I abstain?
So, the Steelers report for training camp this weekend in Latrobe, PA... a fact that actually takes on a depressing air when you consider that the Latrobe Brewing Company was recently gobbled up by Anheuser-Busch and will subsequently be moved away from the home of Arnold Palmer. Things will never be the same... alas.
My reason for posting this evening is to support a tradition (albeit newly formed) of the "Forced Choice Friday," wherein I must decide upon a preference between two sides in an insanely unimportant argument... I get it, which is why I'm participating.
This week, the choices were provided by my sister, DittoHeston (aptly named despite the fact that she has the better of me by 4+ years... count it!):
1. Toilet paper end: over or under? Do I have to answer this if I use tissue paper? Because tissue paper usually comes straight up from the box... I'll go with under because you can really take a good yank at it when there is some extra weight.
2. Joe Simpson or Kevin Federline? I don't understand why I'm choosing between them... if I want someone to exploit my teenage daughter, give me Joey S... if I want someone to exploit a pair of workout pants and a bandana, give me some special K. Fed.
3. Margaritas or Mojitos? Ahhhhhhhh.... Mooo-heee-toooo.... What? I don't think it's a gay drink.
4. Yoga or Pilates? hmmm... well... the only one of the two I've ever even tried is Pilates and I was sore for about a week, so I'll have to go with beer therapy.
5. Sweet Valley High or Choose Your Own Adventure? Since I'm not a woman, I'll go with Choose Your Own Adventure.
6. 1980’s Canadian Superstar Conrad Bain, or 1980’s Canadian Superstar Alan Thicke? I feel like I owe more hours of my life to "Growing Pains," so Alan Thicke... still gotta wonder where this question comes from.
7. Mad cow disease or bird flu? Penicillin
8. Celebrity Ex-Con Robert Downey Jr., or Celebrity Ex-Con Martha Stewart? Robert Downey Jr. was much better in Natural Born Killers... even though Martha is definitely the more natural born killer.
9. Pennsyltucky or Kentuckianna? Pennsyltucky has much better football.
10. Pepperjack or Horseradish cheddar? I enjoy everything cheesy but, since I'm forced to choose... Pepperjack... I like it spicy.
My reason for posting this evening is to support a tradition (albeit newly formed) of the "Forced Choice Friday," wherein I must decide upon a preference between two sides in an insanely unimportant argument... I get it, which is why I'm participating.
This week, the choices were provided by my sister, DittoHeston (aptly named despite the fact that she has the better of me by 4+ years... count it!):
1. Toilet paper end: over or under? Do I have to answer this if I use tissue paper? Because tissue paper usually comes straight up from the box... I'll go with under because you can really take a good yank at it when there is some extra weight.
2. Joe Simpson or Kevin Federline? I don't understand why I'm choosing between them... if I want someone to exploit my teenage daughter, give me Joey S... if I want someone to exploit a pair of workout pants and a bandana, give me some special K. Fed.
3. Margaritas or Mojitos? Ahhhhhhhh.... Mooo-heee-toooo.... What? I don't think it's a gay drink.
4. Yoga or Pilates? hmmm... well... the only one of the two I've ever even tried is Pilates and I was sore for about a week, so I'll have to go with beer therapy.
5. Sweet Valley High or Choose Your Own Adventure? Since I'm not a woman, I'll go with Choose Your Own Adventure.
6. 1980’s Canadian Superstar Conrad Bain, or 1980’s Canadian Superstar Alan Thicke? I feel like I owe more hours of my life to "Growing Pains," so Alan Thicke... still gotta wonder where this question comes from.
7. Mad cow disease or bird flu? Penicillin
8. Celebrity Ex-Con Robert Downey Jr., or Celebrity Ex-Con Martha Stewart? Robert Downey Jr. was much better in Natural Born Killers... even though Martha is definitely the more natural born killer.
9. Pennsyltucky or Kentuckianna? Pennsyltucky has much better football.
10. Pepperjack or Horseradish cheddar? I enjoy everything cheesy but, since I'm forced to choose... Pepperjack... I like it spicy.
Mom, I know what I want for Christmas...
It's been a few weeks now since I started this blog and I'm sure that those of you who know me best are just waiting for me to go off on one of my passionate rants about Van Halen - or, as I like to call them, The Greatest American Rock Band... Ever. (sorry Allman Brothers, you're a strong second)
I don't care if other people don't like their music. That's perfectly acceptable... some people don't like to enjoy themselves... but it always gets to me when people aren't able to recognize the impact that Eddie, Alex, Mike, Sammy, and of course Diamond Dave have had on all popular music (rock, rap, country, Paula Abdul, etc...) since the late 1970's.
Eddie Van Halen has always produced on the cutting edge of his profession and, despite the occassional pandering to critics (e.g. Right Now), has managed to influence different styles at different stages of his career on young, aspiring musicians. Now, it appears he is trailblazing yet again... If there is to ever be a porn movie that actually sells more copies of its soundtrack than the actual film, this will be it. Maybe he'll become the John Williams of the porn industry and start racking up "Woodys" like Williams racks up "Oscars."
Seriously, how did someone not think of this before? Porn and heavy metal (or hard rock, if your one of those jerks who refuses to call V-H "heavy metal") go together like peas and... well, peas. This is an absolute brainbuster of an idea and must have Tommy Lee saying to himself "HOW THE F-BOMB COULD I MISS THAT?!!!!!" I guess he and Bret Michaels were too busy starring in pornos to take some initiative and tap (pun intended) the soundtrack market.
Here's to you Edward Van Halen: my person of the week and...
MOST. INNOVATIVE. GUITARIST. EVER!
Not like we all really needed another reason to watch.
I don't care if other people don't like their music. That's perfectly acceptable... some people don't like to enjoy themselves... but it always gets to me when people aren't able to recognize the impact that Eddie, Alex, Mike, Sammy, and of course Diamond Dave have had on all popular music (rock, rap, country, Paula Abdul, etc...) since the late 1970's.
Eddie Van Halen has always produced on the cutting edge of his profession and, despite the occassional pandering to critics (e.g. Right Now), has managed to influence different styles at different stages of his career on young, aspiring musicians. Now, it appears he is trailblazing yet again... If there is to ever be a porn movie that actually sells more copies of its soundtrack than the actual film, this will be it. Maybe he'll become the John Williams of the porn industry and start racking up "Woodys" like Williams racks up "Oscars."
Seriously, how did someone not think of this before? Porn and heavy metal (or hard rock, if your one of those jerks who refuses to call V-H "heavy metal") go together like peas and... well, peas. This is an absolute brainbuster of an idea and must have Tommy Lee saying to himself "HOW THE F-BOMB COULD I MISS THAT?!!!!!" I guess he and Bret Michaels were too busy starring in pornos to take some initiative and tap (pun intended) the soundtrack market.
Here's to you Edward Van Halen: my person of the week and...
MOST. INNOVATIVE. GUITARIST. EVER!
Not like we all really needed another reason to watch.
27 July 2006
What the hell happened?: Too HOTT for TV edition
Because more Americans get their news from me, than from any other source, here are my picks for the top five news stories over the last couple of days (actually, I kinda picked these out of thin air):
5. Just when you thought it was safe for a yankee to win a bicycle race in France... think again.
4. When Matt Dillon was making a name for himself as a Drugstore Cowboy (superb movie), noone told him that the purple pills he kept leaving behind could be so profitable.
3. Eldrick (Tiger) Woods won his 11th major championship just outside Liverpool, England... proving yet again that Phil Mickelson is in poor shape.
2. What was that about the middle east?!!! You'll have to speak louder!!! I can't hear you over all of the explosions!!!!!!!
...and easily, the most intriguing and newsworthy story in recent memory!!!
1. Lance Bass + 1 gallon of hair product = Brokeback Boy Band
5. Just when you thought it was safe for a yankee to win a bicycle race in France... think again.
4. When Matt Dillon was making a name for himself as a Drugstore Cowboy (superb movie), noone told him that the purple pills he kept leaving behind could be so profitable.
3. Eldrick (Tiger) Woods won his 11th major championship just outside Liverpool, England... proving yet again that Phil Mickelson is in poor shape.
2. What was that about the middle east?!!! You'll have to speak louder!!! I can't hear you over all of the explosions!!!!!!!
...and easily, the most intriguing and newsworthy story in recent memory!!!
1. Lance Bass + 1 gallon of hair product = Brokeback Boy Band
20 July 2006
At last... Some CLOSURE!!!!
Just in case you had stopped caring, it looks like FIFA finally handed out fines and suspensions to BOTH Zinedine Zidane and his Italian bosom-buddy (zing!) Marco Materazzi.
The Frenchman was fined the equivalent of (US) $6,000 and suspended for 3 French international matches. His Italian counterpart was whacked (count it!) with $4k in fines and a 2 game suspension for provoking Zidane. Apparently verbal insults are exactly two-thirds as heinous as physical assault.
Now that this whole affair seems to be settled, what am I going to blog about?!!! Let's all hope that the Feds indict Barry Bonds for Perjury and Tax Evasion. Wouldn't that just totally make him the Al Capone of the 21st century?
In the wake of "Head-butt Gate 2006" I leave you with this final image... what would happen if Zinedine Zidane came in contact with the Death Star?
The Frenchman was fined the equivalent of (US) $6,000 and suspended for 3 French international matches. His Italian counterpart was whacked (count it!) with $4k in fines and a 2 game suspension for provoking Zidane. Apparently verbal insults are exactly two-thirds as heinous as physical assault.
Now that this whole affair seems to be settled, what am I going to blog about?!!! Let's all hope that the Feds indict Barry Bonds for Perjury and Tax Evasion. Wouldn't that just totally make him the Al Capone of the 21st century?
In the wake of "Head-butt Gate 2006" I leave you with this final image... what would happen if Zinedine Zidane came in contact with the Death Star?
17 July 2006
I've heard of "Africa hot," but jeez!
It's soooooo hot outside today.
(all together now)
HOW HOT IS IT???!!!!
It's really really hot outside. It's so hot that (no joke) the Weather Channel is calling for a low (LOW) of 88 degrees at midnight tonight in Baltimore with a "feels like" temperature of 94. Can they even apply the heat index at night?
To apply one of my favorite lines from Seinfeld... "it's like a sauna in here." The only difference being that Kramer was actually sitting in a sauna when he said it. I merely went outside to pick up lunch and felt like I had just taken a steam.
I know it does no good to complain about it... it just (somehow) makes me feel a little bit better.
(all together now)
HOW HOT IS IT???!!!!
It's really really hot outside. It's so hot that (no joke) the Weather Channel is calling for a low (LOW) of 88 degrees at midnight tonight in Baltimore with a "feels like" temperature of 94. Can they even apply the heat index at night?
To apply one of my favorite lines from Seinfeld... "it's like a sauna in here." The only difference being that Kramer was actually sitting in a sauna when he said it. I merely went outside to pick up lunch and felt like I had just taken a steam.
I know it does no good to complain about it... it just (somehow) makes me feel a little bit better.
14 July 2006
Now, you too can attempt to crack a few ribs with Zizou's head.
I guess, for childish people like me, it will take a long time for something as utterly brilliant as Zidane's head butt to be left alone. Thankfully, until that time comes, we have this new game to pass the time. It's kind of in the tradition of this HI-larious reenactment of Dick Cheney on his infamous hunting trip.
I don't think it will replace my favorite time-wasting, mouse-clicky game which is essentially all about smashing penguins with a baseball bat. The first time I played this game, I was having so much fun, I was almost ashamed of myself... almost.
I don't think it will replace my favorite time-wasting, mouse-clicky game which is essentially all about smashing penguins with a baseball bat. The first time I played this game, I was having so much fun, I was almost ashamed of myself... almost.
God! Kip hasn't had to do flippin' ANYTHING today!!!
For no other reason than I haven't posted anything all week... I give you a little clip from "Napoleon Dynamite," the movie that grows on you like a fungus.
Here's to a good, ol' fashioned slap fight!!!!!
Here's to a good, ol' fashioned slap fight!!!!!
10 July 2006
We've come to expect more from the French... wait, maybe we shouldn't
Even if you're not a soccer fan, chances are pretty good that by this point you've heard about Zinedine Zidane's amazing display of sociopathic behavior towards the end of overtime in yesterday's World Cup Final between France and Italy.
Now, I was cheering for the Italians (and not because I particularly care for the Italian national soccer team... winkwink) so I have to admit that it was a little satisfying to see a French national hero walking off the pitch with his head bowed in shame. Sure, I kinda felt bad for the guy: It was his last game and he put himself in a position to go out like John Elway or Jerome Bettis... at the very pinnacle of his profession... but, because he lost control for a couple of seconds, he'll be looked at more like Ty Cobb reviled for poor sportsmanship.
Of course, being an American who thinks that one of the coolest things in sports is when a batter charges the mound in baseball, I have to say that the whole incident certainly added drama:
Now, I was cheering for the Italians (and not because I particularly care for the Italian national soccer team... winkwink) so I have to admit that it was a little satisfying to see a French national hero walking off the pitch with his head bowed in shame. Sure, I kinda felt bad for the guy: It was his last game and he put himself in a position to go out like John Elway or Jerome Bettis... at the very pinnacle of his profession... but, because he lost control for a couple of seconds, he'll be looked at more like Ty Cobb reviled for poor sportsmanship.
Of course, being an American who thinks that one of the coolest things in sports is when a batter charges the mound in baseball, I have to say that the whole incident certainly added drama:
07 July 2006
A reason to watch CMT other than reruns of "Surviving Nugent"
All those of you with a PHD (playa-hatin' degree) out there, take notice: Ben Roethlisberger's recovery is going well... extremely well (take that common-sense-helmet-laws!). It's going so well in fact, that in the next week, Ben will be participating in a celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe, NV and appearing in a music video for a country band that hails from da 'Burgh.
A quick question for Heir Roethlisberger, though... why a country band? Of all the bands from Pittsburgh, it had to be a country band? I mean, where's Donnie Iris? At the very least, he could try and help out The Clarks Band a little. I'll never understand America's fascination with country and western music... with a few notable, hot, female artist, exceptions.
A quick question for Heir Roethlisberger, though... why a country band? Of all the bands from Pittsburgh, it had to be a country band? I mean, where's Donnie Iris? At the very least, he could try and help out The Clarks Band a little. I'll never understand America's fascination with country and western music... with a few notable, hot, female artist, exceptions.
06 July 2006
The right side of history...
I finally saw Syriana last night. I suppose it was a good movie. I wasn't happy watching it, but I also don't think I was as alarmed as the filmmakers would have liked for me to be. For certain, though, I wasn't going to turn it off and go to bed early. It grabbed my attention and that is exactly what a movie like this is supposed to do.
From a political standpoint, I agree with most of the points the movie tried to make. Yes, oil is a huge problem. Yes, our dependence on middle eastern nations for oil makes it an even bigger problem. And yes, American influence in that region only fuels the anti-west movement with an extra dose of rage-a-hol.
Here's to hoping that a movie made by Hollywood millionaires can reverse the trend!
I've always enjoyed George Clooney... good actor, witty, chooses entertaining roles... but man, if he hasn't become one of the most self-righteous people in the entertainment industry!
In one of the special features on the DVD, Clooney is being interviewed and could not sound more caught up in his own little world of activism. He says things like (to paraphrase):
- People who say that they've traveled to these parts of the world (the middle east and africa) and that they don't think things are as bad as they are made out to be... "well, those people need to travel more." -- Do they? And I guess we'll travel on jets that use hydrogen fuel cells?
...and then there's this one... to me, the coup de gras (and this is a direct quote):
- "It's nice to be on the right side of history." -- How arrogant do you have to be to say something like this????? Apart from being an obvious statement... it's just something that a humble person doesn't say. If you can't admit fallibility in advance, don't you think people will see that as an inability to take responsibility down the road?
Thanks George, but maybe you could just start work on Ocean's 13 or something else to entertain us... that is your job, after all.
From a political standpoint, I agree with most of the points the movie tried to make. Yes, oil is a huge problem. Yes, our dependence on middle eastern nations for oil makes it an even bigger problem. And yes, American influence in that region only fuels the anti-west movement with an extra dose of rage-a-hol.
Here's to hoping that a movie made by Hollywood millionaires can reverse the trend!
I've always enjoyed George Clooney... good actor, witty, chooses entertaining roles... but man, if he hasn't become one of the most self-righteous people in the entertainment industry!
In one of the special features on the DVD, Clooney is being interviewed and could not sound more caught up in his own little world of activism. He says things like (to paraphrase):
- People who say that they've traveled to these parts of the world (the middle east and africa) and that they don't think things are as bad as they are made out to be... "well, those people need to travel more." -- Do they? And I guess we'll travel on jets that use hydrogen fuel cells?
...and then there's this one... to me, the coup de gras (and this is a direct quote):
- "It's nice to be on the right side of history." -- How arrogant do you have to be to say something like this????? Apart from being an obvious statement... it's just something that a humble person doesn't say. If you can't admit fallibility in advance, don't you think people will see that as an inability to take responsibility down the road?
Thanks George, but maybe you could just start work on Ocean's 13 or something else to entertain us... that is your job, after all.
05 July 2006
Caption Contest
Caption contests are always fun... you know, they're the thing where I give you a picture, and we see who can make up with the best caption to go along with it. Submit your answers in the comments. The winner will be determined by a committee of one (me) and will be announced in one week's time. Check out the picture below and try to come up with a better caption than the one I gave. Happy Wednesday everyone!
The Army goes metrosexual.
The Army goes metrosexual.04 July 2006
Moby Tick
Call me Todd. Some years ago - actually it was just last Thursday - I noticed something peculiar on the hindpart of my left leg, just above the ankle.
OK, that's enough trying to sound like Herman Melville... even my 10th grade English teacher thought he was boring.
If you've read my previous post, you know by now that I got bit by something recently (and no, Mom, it wasn't the "love bug"... sorry to disappoint). You see, I woke up on Thursday morning and just before I got in the shower, I noticed a red spot on the back of my left leg, just above the ankle. It itched, to be sure, but it didn't really hurt so I wasn't ready to go to the doctor. By the time I got home from work on Thursday night it looked like this...
At this point it was a little painful, but of greater concern to me was the fact that it looked like I had been branded by ranchers who work for Target. I had heard of this before... the "bulls-eye" shaped rash that could very well signify lyme disease, a condition which could lead to horrible things down the road (it would suck to have arthritis before I turn 30). I resolved to go to the doctor the next day if it wasn't better in the morning.
OK, that's enough trying to sound like Herman Melville... even my 10th grade English teacher thought he was boring.
If you've read my previous post, you know by now that I got bit by something recently (and no, Mom, it wasn't the "love bug"... sorry to disappoint). You see, I woke up on Thursday morning and just before I got in the shower, I noticed a red spot on the back of my left leg, just above the ankle. It itched, to be sure, but it didn't really hurt so I wasn't ready to go to the doctor. By the time I got home from work on Thursday night it looked like this...
At this point it was a little painful, but of greater concern to me was the fact that it looked like I had been branded by ranchers who work for Target. I had heard of this before... the "bulls-eye" shaped rash that could very well signify lyme disease, a condition which could lead to horrible things down the road (it would suck to have arthritis before I turn 30). I resolved to go to the doctor the next day if it wasn't better in the morning.
It wasn't better in the morning... in fact, on Friday, it was significantly worse. I could barely walk. So, riddle me this... why did I go into work? Because I had stuff to do. Ohmygod... could it have happened? Am I actually important at work? I digress...
I was in agonizing pain, and as soon as I got into work, I notified my boss that I would probably be taking a half day to go to the doctor to get what I think is a tick-bite looked at. Of course, she said that would be no problem and, out of curiosity, she asked to see the bite. While hobbling around on one leg, I lifted the cuff on my Dockers and revealed something that looked a little like this...
She didn't like the looks of it (neither did the other people that she motioned over to take a look) and essentially told me to go to the doctor right away. An order which I obeyed (that's me... slave to the man).
I didn't have an appointment, so I sat in the family practice center at University Hospitals in downtown Baltimore for about 2 hours before anyone would see me. When I finally got called out of the waiting area, I sat in one of those little rooms for another 45 minutes before a doctor came in... Now, I'm no expert on the medical profession, but I can only assume that the "doctor" who came in to my room was what you call a "first year resident." I actually think this could have been her very first shift because she entered the room, took one look at the back of my leg which I had de-socked and elevated on the patient table and her eyes got as big as sand-dollars. The first words out of her mouth weren't "Hi, I'm Dr. So-and-so," they were "Oh WOW! What happened to your leg?" She really needs to work on her bedside manner.
After this confidence inspiring moment, I was a little relieved when she brought in another doctor, who I can only imagine acts as the Dr. Cox to her Elliot Reid. Together, they listened to my story about how I don't remember getting bitten by anything, but have been outside recently and just noticed the rash the day before. They conferred and said that the chances were pretty good that it's not Lyme disease, but didn't want to rule it out, so they prescribed me a course of Doxycycline, an antibiotic which should kill Lyme disease or any other insect born bacteria, and 800mg Motrin for the pain. They said if it didn't start to get better within 48 hours, to come back and see them.
The rest of the day on Friday and all day Saturday were incredibly painful experiences. Sunday was better (even though it still looked like someone went all Shane Stant on my leg), Monday was significantly better and today I'm virtually pain free. So that's my ordeal... could have been a lot worse, but it could have been a lot better.
Now, if you don't mind, I have to go watch fireworks.
03 July 2006
A whole week without a post...
Last week was retarded (and don't take that as a slur towards special needs people).
It started, obviously, with the grandiose "wake-up-to-a-broken-car-mirror" I got on Monday and ended with me in agonizing pain waiting for a doctor to give me a prescription for an antibiotic. Nestled in the middle was a seemingly endless Wednesday business trip to Jersey... always a treat (gas is $4/gallon in Newark!). Then, if you throw in the facts that England really screwed the pooch and France pissed everybody off by beating Brazil, this weekend wasn't all that great either.
If you're wondering about the "agonizing pain" I was in to end the week, don't worry, we'll get to the chronic-what!-cles of my tick bite in a future post... I have pictures to share. Just don't worry about me because it looks like I'll be ok.
Thank Jebus for the holiday this week! I need an extra day off.
It started, obviously, with the grandiose "wake-up-to-a-broken-car-mirror" I got on Monday and ended with me in agonizing pain waiting for a doctor to give me a prescription for an antibiotic. Nestled in the middle was a seemingly endless Wednesday business trip to Jersey... always a treat (gas is $4/gallon in Newark!). Then, if you throw in the facts that England really screwed the pooch and France pissed everybody off by beating Brazil, this weekend wasn't all that great either.
If you're wondering about the "agonizing pain" I was in to end the week, don't worry, we'll get to the chronic-what!-cles of my tick bite in a future post... I have pictures to share. Just don't worry about me because it looks like I'll be ok.
Thank Jebus for the holiday this week! I need an extra day off.
26 June 2006
What a throwaway today was...
Obviously I have a sixth sense. I woke up today with a nervous feeling in my stomach and I couldn't help but think that something bad had happened to my car. Perhaps that nervous feeling was entirely due to the fact that I realize that if my car were to break, or otherwise find itself in need of major repair, I would pretty much be up shit's creek without so much as a financial bathing suit (pause to take in the visual) and this causes me oodles of stress on a regular basis. This may very well be the case and I would love to think that when I worry it's usually at a time when I have nothing to worry about. It would have been nice to go out to my car this morning to find that it was in the same fair condition in which I left it on Saturday morning. Alas, the bastards would not let that be. Some jagoff (and I use the term jagoff with the utmost contempt) must have thought it was appropriate... nay, absolutely necessary to break my driver's side mirror. I didn't notice at first because it's only the mirror that's broken, not the plastic casing, but when I sat down in the car I noticed that it looked like there was a ticket on my windshield. Oh, it wasn't a ticket but it was from the police. Apparently, they made an arrest and what they placed on the windshield of my car was the broken mirror (on which I subsequently cut my thumb) along with a form they give to victims of crimes which had written across the top "We Made and Arrest." WOW! You made an arrest?!! How about leaving me the information for the sonofabitch who owes me $40 for the mirror that I had to take an extra hour off of work today to go order at the car dealer so that I can take another hour on Thursday to go back to the dealer to have put on the car? Sorry for venting, but I'm ever so pissed and I really think that the only fair punishment for a drunk idiot who thinks it's funny to annoyingly vandalize someone's car in a way that creates a huge blind-spot making it virtually unfit for driving should be to make them eat the shards of broken mirror laying all over the sidewalk.
Before you comment on my use of run-on sentences in this post: It's a rant people... I reserve the right to use ridiculously long, angry sentences.
Before you comment on my use of run-on sentences in this post: It's a rant people... I reserve the right to use ridiculously long, angry sentences.
23 June 2006
The madness must stop!
So it's been pretty obvious for some time that Lance Armstrong is to European cycling fans what Barry Bonds is to American baseball fans... especially when it comes to the subject of performance enhancing drugs. Both men are arguably the most dominant figures in the history of their respective professions and both men have had to endure relentless accusations that attempt to diminish (or erase completely) any impact of their accomplishments. However, their two paths diverged in the woods some time ago.
There is one glaring distinction between the two stories as far as I can see: There is a mountain of evidence and testimony to suggest that Barry Bonds is guilty of using performance enhancing drugs (and basically being an all-American jackass) and a similar sized mountain of evidence and testimony to suggest precisely the opposite of Lance Armstrong. So much so that a recent ruling from an independent investigation concluded that the allegations against Armstrong were bogus. This is the sort of thing that I expected would convice any decent human being that it was time to give up the crusade against Lance Armstrong and accept the fact that your countrymen (AHEM, France) were legitimately bested by an American... hell, a TEXAN. I mean, for God sakes, didn't we learn our lesson with this whole incident?
That being said, I was incredibly disheartened today to come across a story about the most recent development in poor Lance's tale. This truly pisses me off. Le Monde is merely trying to slander the reputation of Lance Armstrong. Their accusation, that he addmitted to doctors to using EPO and other performance enhancers prior to 1996 is based on the supposed testimony of one of Armstrong's former teammates and the teammate's wife (who is said to have a strong dislike for Armstrong). All the doctors and friends of Armstrong who were present at his alleged admission have testified to the contrary: That Armstrong never made any such admission to his doctors or anyone (Doctors who, at the time, were treating him for cancer which had spread to his brain and spine).
All one can hope is that when this new information is found to be false, this will be the end of it. I couldn't possibly envision any sort of apology from the editors at the various French media which have consistently made vain attempts to defame one of America's greatest sporting exports, so Lance probably shouldn't expect one. He should, however, expect to be able to live for the rest of his life without having to constantly defend his past.
One of the great comforts I have in all of this is that at this point I'm pretty confident it bothers me much more than it bothers Lance Armstrong. Why should he care about an outlandish claim in Le Monde? He survived cancer, won 7 Tours de France, passed thousands of drug and blood doping tests in the process and has consistently overcome accusations and silenced critics since. All this has been done without ever taking a shot at a society which would like nothing more than for him to return to America and pretend that he never wore their precious yellow jerseys. Unfortunately for them, Armstrong has too much pride, conviction and righteousness on his side to play their slander game. I can only conclude that what they hate the most is that he does what he does with class... hardly what they feel they should expect from an American.
There is one glaring distinction between the two stories as far as I can see: There is a mountain of evidence and testimony to suggest that Barry Bonds is guilty of using performance enhancing drugs (and basically being an all-American jackass) and a similar sized mountain of evidence and testimony to suggest precisely the opposite of Lance Armstrong. So much so that a recent ruling from an independent investigation concluded that the allegations against Armstrong were bogus. This is the sort of thing that I expected would convice any decent human being that it was time to give up the crusade against Lance Armstrong and accept the fact that your countrymen (AHEM, France) were legitimately bested by an American... hell, a TEXAN. I mean, for God sakes, didn't we learn our lesson with this whole incident?
That being said, I was incredibly disheartened today to come across a story about the most recent development in poor Lance's tale. This truly pisses me off. Le Monde is merely trying to slander the reputation of Lance Armstrong. Their accusation, that he addmitted to doctors to using EPO and other performance enhancers prior to 1996 is based on the supposed testimony of one of Armstrong's former teammates and the teammate's wife (who is said to have a strong dislike for Armstrong). All the doctors and friends of Armstrong who were present at his alleged admission have testified to the contrary: That Armstrong never made any such admission to his doctors or anyone (Doctors who, at the time, were treating him for cancer which had spread to his brain and spine).
All one can hope is that when this new information is found to be false, this will be the end of it. I couldn't possibly envision any sort of apology from the editors at the various French media which have consistently made vain attempts to defame one of America's greatest sporting exports, so Lance probably shouldn't expect one. He should, however, expect to be able to live for the rest of his life without having to constantly defend his past.
One of the great comforts I have in all of this is that at this point I'm pretty confident it bothers me much more than it bothers Lance Armstrong. Why should he care about an outlandish claim in Le Monde? He survived cancer, won 7 Tours de France, passed thousands of drug and blood doping tests in the process and has consistently overcome accusations and silenced critics since. All this has been done without ever taking a shot at a society which would like nothing more than for him to return to America and pretend that he never wore their precious yellow jerseys. Unfortunately for them, Armstrong has too much pride, conviction and righteousness on his side to play their slander game. I can only conclude that what they hate the most is that he does what he does with class... hardly what they feel they should expect from an American.
22 June 2006
The lure of our Nation's 35th State...
This'll be a quick one. I have to look somewhat busy at work in a little bit because there is a client-prospect coming in for a tour of our facilities. Luckily I don't have to meet with them (mostly because I didn't shave today... sorry DittoHeston), but the guy next to me does, so they'll definitely be around here, scrutinizing.
I recently found out that one of my good friends is buying a house in West Virginia. He currently lives and works in northern Virginia, so West Virginia makes sense because it's not too far and the housing prices and taxes should be subterranean in comparison. Thus, I say "good for him." However, being from Pittsburgh originally, I just can't, in good conscience, let this thing happen without posing some of my favorite West Virginia jokes. If you're reading this and you're from West Virginia, please don't shoot me. So here they are:
Q. What do a tornado and a West Virginia divorce have in common?
A. Someone always loses a trailer.
Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q. What is the West Virginia state flower?
A. The satallite dish!
Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A. Everyone has the Same DNA.
Q. Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down?
A. Almost took out the whole trailer park
and my all time favorite West Virginia joke (my Grandfather told me this when I was 10 years old)...
Q. What do West Virginia high school cheerleaders do at halftime of football games?
A. Graze!
and now I have to go get ready to watch the U.S. in the World Cup... I mean work.
I recently found out that one of my good friends is buying a house in West Virginia. He currently lives and works in northern Virginia, so West Virginia makes sense because it's not too far and the housing prices and taxes should be subterranean in comparison. Thus, I say "good for him." However, being from Pittsburgh originally, I just can't, in good conscience, let this thing happen without posing some of my favorite West Virginia jokes. If you're reading this and you're from West Virginia, please don't shoot me. So here they are:
Q. What do a tornado and a West Virginia divorce have in common?
A. Someone always loses a trailer.
Q. How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
A. If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Q. What is the West Virginia state flower?
A. The satallite dish!
Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A. Everyone has the Same DNA.
Q. Did you hear that the governor's mansion in West Virginia burned down?
A. Almost took out the whole trailer park
and my all time favorite West Virginia joke (my Grandfather told me this when I was 10 years old)...
Q. What do West Virginia high school cheerleaders do at halftime of football games?
A. Graze!
and now I have to go get ready to watch the U.S. in the World Cup... I mean work.
21 June 2006
Superman... back to kill all humans.
I have to admit, I'm excited. Hell, I'm practically giddy in anticipation of the upcoming Superman movie. I mean, I loved the Christopher Reeve franchise but he has been dead for a few years now, and I feel like it's time to move on. He would have wanted it that way.
I'm concerned about some of the casting, though... most notably (and his fan club will probably criticize me for this), I'm concerned about Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Can he be over-the-top enough? I just don't think he has it in him. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly suprised, but he seems too mellow to really do justice to a character embodied so perfectly by Gene Hackman. Maybe, if we're lucky, Hackman has a cameo... all I want is to hear him make fun of Otis (or a woman named Ms. Teschmacher).
The unfortunate thing is that I have to go to f'ing New Jersey on the 28th for work. If this trip in any way inhibits my ability to see the movie that day, I swear to God I'll take it out on New Jersey. That's right... I'll take a special trip up there, ignore every "jug-handle" and make left hand turns the normal way. I might even pump my own gas! That'll show Jersey not to mess with me... stupid state.
I hope this movie's great. At the very least, I hope it makes my list of top 5 superhero movies (even if it's not better than the one from 1978)... I'm tired of seeing Spiderman on there:
1. Batman Begins
2. Superman
3. Batman
4. X-Men (the first one gets the nod, even though X2 was easily as good a movie)
5. Spiderman
I'm concerned about some of the casting, though... most notably (and his fan club will probably criticize me for this), I'm concerned about Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Can he be over-the-top enough? I just don't think he has it in him. Hopefully I'll be pleasantly suprised, but he seems too mellow to really do justice to a character embodied so perfectly by Gene Hackman. Maybe, if we're lucky, Hackman has a cameo... all I want is to hear him make fun of Otis (or a woman named Ms. Teschmacher).
The unfortunate thing is that I have to go to f'ing New Jersey on the 28th for work. If this trip in any way inhibits my ability to see the movie that day, I swear to God I'll take it out on New Jersey. That's right... I'll take a special trip up there, ignore every "jug-handle" and make left hand turns the normal way. I might even pump my own gas! That'll show Jersey not to mess with me... stupid state.
I hope this movie's great. At the very least, I hope it makes my list of top 5 superhero movies (even if it's not better than the one from 1978)... I'm tired of seeing Spiderman on there:
1. Batman Begins
2. Superman
3. Batman
4. X-Men (the first one gets the nod, even though X2 was easily as good a movie)
5. Spiderman
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