We're going to need more spinach!

What's more excrutiating than watching the New Orleans Saints literally bend over and grab their ankles for Ray Lewis and the uber-homo Baltimore Ravens? Try doing just that, while stewing in the recognition that the Steelers are on the downslope of a season and you won't even get to see them play at 4:15 because their game against the Raiders isn't (suprise suprise) considered to be the "marquee" late game for CBS.

I posted (not too long ago) that the Steelers were going to start (for lack of a better phrase) kicking ass and taking names like Popeye after finding out that Bluto has stolen Olive Oyl away to some remote locale behind a dumpster. No need to bring this up to me... I recall that said post happened.

So, here I sit... stewing in a glass of J&B and eating a hefty helping of humble pie whilst I "alt-tab" between this blog post and the NFL.com gamecast of the Steelers/Raiders game: A game that my Stillers are doing everything in their power to lose. I say "everything in their power" and I mean it. This losing effort began early this week when Cowher said to the media that the concussion Roethlisberger received in last week's gut-check loss to Atlanta probably won't cause him to miss any games (paraphrase).

Of course, Roethlisberger was going to start today from the word "probable" and Cowher should know the guy better. Yes, Ben is a tough guy, but how many times do the doctors and coaches of the Pittsburgh Steelers need to let him prove it?

Now, I doubt anything devastating will happen to the young QB in the game this week, but what's the point of not forcing him to sit out a week? Chas Batch has been playing quite well and no matter how badly you need a win, you need to think first about the potential consequences of putting a young man who has had two concussions in the last 5 months out on a football field being pursued by 11 large (probably artificially testosteroned up) men under the employ of Al Davis (translation: not model citizens).

This was just bad mojo from the start and now it's the 4th quarter and we're still losing by a touchdown to the Raiders... the RAIDERS! I'm ashamed of what my football team is doing right now. It doesn't even qualify as gutsy... it qualifies as irresponsible.

I'm going to stop writing but I want to throw this in... Even if the Steelers pull out a win in the next 13 minutes of football, they should be embarrassed and (since it appears they aren't already) incredibly concerned about the rest of the season.

Most of all, they should feel bad about getting my hopes up two weeks ago. True, they won the Super Bowl last year, but that doesn't mean they get to take this year off... from where do they think their fans come? Baltimore?

This weekend has serious potential:

I'm looking forward to this weekend for many reasons other than the obvious awesomeness that is two days where I don't have to come in to work:

1. Friday night happy hour: They don't happen every week anymore, but today was somebody's last day so we have a good excuse to go celebrate their freedom with them.
2. "Mean Streets" should be arriving from Netflix today: Normally a new arrival from Netflix would be just mark the occassion of another regular day, but after happy hour on Fridays I'm always ready to crash on the couch with a movie and this movie is supposedly Scorcese's first great film, so I'm more excited than usual.
3. Red Bull Flugtag tomorrow at the inner harbor: I'm still kicking myself for not going when it was in Chicago in 2003 and since it's only 12 blocks from my apartment, there's no way I'm skipping this time. I'm setting the over/under on how many different strains of gonorrhea are contracted from the water in the inner harbor by the crazies who jump in at 4. Seriously, there's a reason other than "boat-traffic" that they don't let people swim there.
4. Steelers game on CBS here on Sunday: It's rare in Baltimore for a 1pm Steelers game to be televised. This is made all the more pleasant by the fact that the Ravens have a bye week this week... that way, it's almost like they don't exist for a couple of days (in a perfect world).
5. World Series: After all, this is still America.

Now, let's get out there and have a great weekend!

This spinach ain't part of no recall

...DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK.

Seriously don't, because that would be stupid and naive... it would, in fact, be stupidly naive.

Don't call the Steelers methodical, 45-7 shellacking of the reeling Kansas City Chiefs anything less than what it was: One of the NFL's proven elite teams reminding the rest of the league that they are still elite and have, to finish what the first line started, BEEN HERE FOR YEARS.

There are a couple of other things that you shouldn't do following yesterday's hella-awesome turn of events in the wicked-strong AFC North:

-Don't continue to talk about Ben Roethlisberger being anything less than a great quarterback. I don't want to hear anymore of this "he's just an average quarterback who has been surrounded by great teams his entire football life, so all he's ever had to do is manage the game" crap. Average quarterbacks don't respond to the pressure of (what amounts to) a must win game by putting up a 153.8 efficiency rating. They go all Jake the Snake on their team and wind up with a concussion. Nothing about what Ben has done in his career (save his first three starts of this season) has been average. He's a great quarterback, plain and simple, but he can't be expected to be perfect... not even Dan Rooney is perfect.

-Don't talk about this "super-bowl hangover" anymore. Sure, there is something to it, but guess what... and I know that some people don't want this to be true... it's over for the Steelers. They took a half bottle of Ibuprofen this past week and now they're back to their old selves. Last year, it took them until week 13 to get their wake up call. This year, they got it in week 6 and I have to say I'm giddy, real giddy... hell, I'm a thousand times giddy for the rest of they year.

Consider the Steelers' season like an episode of Popeye (Popeye plays the part of the Steelers): The teams on the Steelers' schedule are all the local drunks trying to score with Olive Oyl (represented by the Lombardi trophy).
Popeye steps in for the first couple of rounds and you see that he's human. He hits the first guy (Miami) but then the thugs gang up on him (Jacksonville, Cincy, San Diego) and he winds up seeing stars and birds circling around his head laying with broken pieces of barstool all around him.
He regains consciousness to the sound of Olive Oyl screaming for him and the thugs laughing about the little twerp who thought he was all that and a case of beer. Popeye starts to right himself and then somehow, someway, from somewhere a can of spinach makes an appearance (perhaps a Cowher speech about it being a new season?) and Popeye eats it with gusto.
Just when the bad guys think they're getting away, they hear Popeye say from behind them something like "Where do you guys think you're going?" And then he spits out a tooth (that would have been soooo awesome if Popeye ever did that). To this, one of the lesser thugs (Kansas City) responds with the perfunctory, "What? Baby want to play some more?" and walks over to meet Popeye at the center of the room. Popeye makes quick work out of him.
Wave after wave of drunk sailor, thugs try to beat up Popeye, but... well, you know the rest of the story. It ends with Popeye being the last man standing and Olive Oyl saying something to the effect of "Oh Popeye, you're the only man for me."

Ahhhhh. Bring on the next would-be-thug. The Steelers already ate their spinach.

Friday Five: Why am I Still At Work?! Edition

We're going to try to make this quick... but DittoHeston gave us another Friday Five and I'm too big of a geek not too participate.

1. Which Halloween candy will you run out of before Halloween gets here?

Those little boxes of Nerds that come in a big bag... they go great on anything!

2. What’s the most unnerving weather phenomenon you’ve witnessed this fall?

Baltimore has boring weather. I'm a little unnerved by the 2 feet of snow they got in Buffalo last night, but I'm nowhere near Buffalo so that probably doesn't count. We had rain in Baltimore the other day... is that interesting? No? Sorry, I got nothing for this one.

3. What’s the best laugh you’ve had this week?

Same as every week: The entire half hour on Thursday nights when The Office is on.

4. Which new TV show of the Fall 2006 season are you enjoying the most?

NBC has some real winners this year. Heroes is probably edging out Friday Night Lights at this point, and 30 Rock has only had one great episode (not really fair to compare it to the others). Does NBC Sunday Night Football count? Because that definitely takes the crown if it does.

5. What’s the worst cold-weather fashion trend you’ve seen this fall?

Complaining about the cold. Seriously, we've had absolutely zero COLD days here in Baltimore so far and yet people are already complaining about a chill in the air. That's the fashionable thing to do in this part of the country when it dips below 70 degrees... complain about the cold. It makes me want to punch the people who do. I can't wait until I get to wear a scarf everyday... I love my scarf.

Way to go Freddy!

Did you know that the Pittsburgh Pirates have produced more batting champions than any other franchise in National League history? 25 times the NL crown has been worn by a Bucco and yet, people from other places still ask me how I can possibly stay loyal to a foundering franchise. I always ask - you mean the franchise that gave the baseball world Honus Wagner, Roberto Clemente, Bill Mazeroski, the pre-steroid Barry Bonds, Jim Leyland, and so on?

From the Pirates to the Homestead Grays and Pittsburgh Crawfords, baseball is as much a part of the water in Pittsburgh as football... it's just that it is truly more of a past-time than an obsession. That's why Pirates fans continue to show support and gratefulness for acheivements that would seem like an afterthought to any other franchise on the cusp of their 14th consecutive losing season.

Were I wearing a hat right now, I would take it off in salute to Feddy Sanchez, the newest Pirate to etch his name in the history books. By winning the NL batting crown on Sunday, Sanchez single-handedly salvaged some booty from the wreckage of another sub-par season.

What's really terrific about this is that noone expected it from a utility infielder on a poor team who entered the season expecting to be a part-time player.

What's really unfortunate about this is that Sanchez will not get nearly the amount of national recognition from this that he deserves because he plays for a team that was so mired in the standings that the only time you actually got to see the highlights of their games on Sportscenter was when they were playing against a winner.

The reality of the situation is that the Pirates NEED to find a way to keep players like Sanchez and Jason Bay, but ultimately will lose out if they don't pony up the dough. Bay is widely regarded as one of the top players in the majors and you could essentially see a picture of him next to "Fantasy Stud" in the baseball dictionary. With Sanchez' performance over this past year, you know he will be under the microscope next year and if he turns in another fantastic season, I don't see how the Pirates can retain both him an Bay without spending a lot of money.

I don't want to complain about the Pirates' losing ways. I want to commend Sanchez for what he did. It's no small accomplishment to give 25,000 fans a reason to show up, much less give a standing ovation, at the final game of a 67 - 95 campaign. Efforts like the one he gave over a marathon season are not overlooked in the city of Pittsburgh, nor should they be overlooked by the rest of America.

Congrats Freddy! And thank you for the season. Take a couple of weeks off and we'll see you next year.