Forced choice?!! May I abstain?

So, the Steelers report for training camp this weekend in Latrobe, PA... a fact that actually takes on a depressing air when you consider that the Latrobe Brewing Company was recently gobbled up by Anheuser-Busch and will subsequently be moved away from the home of Arnold Palmer. Things will never be the same... alas.

My reason for posting this evening is to support a tradition (albeit newly formed) of the "Forced Choice Friday," wherein I must decide upon a preference between two sides in an insanely unimportant argument... I get it, which is why I'm participating.

This week, the choices were provided by my sister, DittoHeston (aptly named despite the fact that she has the better of me by 4+ years... count it!):

1. Toilet paper end: over or under? Do I have to answer this if I use tissue paper? Because tissue paper usually comes straight up from the box... I'll go with under because you can really take a good yank at it when there is some extra weight.

2. Joe Simpson or Kevin Federline? I don't understand why I'm choosing between them... if I want someone to exploit my teenage daughter, give me Joey S... if I want someone to exploit a pair of workout pants and a bandana, give me some special K. Fed.

3. Margaritas or Mojitos? Ahhhhhhhh.... Mooo-heee-toooo.... What? I don't think it's a gay drink.

4. Yoga or Pilates? hmmm... well... the only one of the two I've ever even tried is Pilates and I was sore for about a week, so I'll have to go with beer therapy.

5. Sweet Valley High or Choose Your Own Adventure? Since I'm not a woman, I'll go with Choose Your Own Adventure.

6. 1980’s Canadian Superstar Conrad Bain, or 1980’s Canadian Superstar Alan Thicke? I feel like I owe more hours of my life to "Growing Pains," so Alan Thicke... still gotta wonder where this question comes from.

7. Mad cow disease or bird flu? Penicillin

8. Celebrity Ex-Con Robert Downey Jr., or Celebrity Ex-Con Martha Stewart? Robert Downey Jr. was much better in Natural Born Killers... even though Martha is definitely the more natural born killer.

9. Pennsyltucky or Kentuckianna? Pennsyltucky has much better football.

10. Pepperjack or Horseradish cheddar? I enjoy everything cheesy but, since I'm forced to choose... Pepperjack... I like it spicy.