In case you haven't heard yet -- and if you're not a regular Post-Gazette reader (or a serious Hollywood nerd) you probably haven't -- the Powers That Be just announced that the next (and apparently final) chapter in the Christopher Nolan directed Batman series is going to be filmed in Pittsburgh!
This is truly amazing news for anyone who's a fan of either the city or the Caped Crusader. Friends and I are already talking about how badass it would be to somehow come away from the production crew's six weeks in the Burgh with a first-hand account of a crazy Christian Bale incident. We even went so far as to propose that we could get jobs as extras and make jokes at his expense any time he's within ear shot just to egg him on. Sure, we'd be risking a serious pummelling, but it would be worth it... a nice story for future grandkids -- "Did Grampa ever tell you kids about the time the famous actor Christian Bale threatened to cut my head off and piss down my throat in front of 75 people?! No? Well, take a seat. It was the summer of 2011 and I was going through my 'Tosh.0' phase..."
To mark the awesomeness of the occasion, here's a list of things I'd like to see happen while Pittsburgh is posing as Gotham City...
1. The Batmobile converts into a Bat-train and rides up one of the inclines on Mt. Washington
2. Bruce Wayne plays a round of golf at Oakmont with Tiger Woods... and beats him
3. Batman catches Big Ben being naughty and gives him a little tune-up because THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE STEELER BEHAVIOR
4. Bruce Wayne's new apartment is on the top floor of the PPG castle and...
5. the new Batcave is in the underbelly of the now derelict Civic Arena (I can go back to calling it that now, instead of Mellon Arena, right?... thank God!)
6. Batman takes the Bat-boat on a trip up the Mon, ya know, jus'ta get aht-ta dahntahn fer a few
7. Three words: Sophie. Masloff. Cameo.
8. Somebody - ANYBODY (but preferably Bruce Wayne trying to nurse a hangover) - eats a Primanti Bros' sandwich
9. Batman tracks his arch-nemesis du jour back to his hideout at 100 Alfred Lerner Way, Cleveland, OH and blows it the hell up
10. Bruce Wayne forces the Nuttings to sell him the Pirates, pumps a shit-ton of money into free-agent signings and wins a World Series... oooooohhhh, that's a sexy thought.
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